Getting rid of the ‘Shame Box’.


Letting go of pain and suffering is not easy. Often times things happen to us that are greater than we can even wrap our minds around. Sometimes things are so severe, that we bury them deep inside pretending they didn’t happen. Often times we have convinced ourselves that we were the one to blame for the incident. Sometimes we become angry at God, blaming Him for allowing things to happen. The truth is, God is not to blame. The enemy is alive and real, and He will attack and attempt to devour us, in any way he can. God has given us free will to make decisions in our lives, and sometimes our decisions can be dangerous. It is not that we have decided to allow things to happen to us; but over the course of time, some of our decisions have left us vulnerable for the enemy to attack. God is still in the midst of our lives, but He waits for us to call on Him, versus forcing Himself on us. We are in control of who controls our lives. This does not mean things will not happen to us. This means we have the ability to allow God to guide our lives if we let Him. When we develop a relationship with Jesus, we begin to gain wisdom and understanding, which will help us make better choices and decisions. My life began taking a turn toward healing, once I began understanding this.

I’ve often been asked how I overcame some of the things I faced in my past. Reflecting back on this question always brings me to a deep understanding of how great our God is. Years ago I was violently raped. Many years went by before I ever spoke about it. I had buried the violent incident in my ‘shame box’ deep within my soul. I pretended it didn’t happen. I pretended it wasn’t there. I put many other things in that same ‘shame box’. It’s amazing how much we can collect over time. Eventually, we have to let our ‘shame box’ open up enough to face the truth. The only way to true healing from pain, resentment, bitterness, and suffering, is to face the truth and walk through it. It took me so many years to come to that understanding. Remembering the details of the violent violation is one of the most painful things I’ve had to journey through. But it’s also one of the most healing things I’ve overcome. Not only did it allowed me to release the resentments and the festering pain, but it allowed me to forgive my perpetrator. Many of you have walk-through serious incidences in your life, that you have placed in your ‘shame box’. Conveniently tucking away the incident, leads to deep seeded pain. This pain can consume our lives. Depression, isolation, bitterness, sorrow and resentment can build up over time. It’s time to open up the ‘shame box’ and clean it out for good. God is not an author of shame. He is an author of love, hope and joy. God desires for us to find healing in Him. Jesus understands the suffering, and His love can cover all your pain. Shame is something we carry around as punishment to ourselves. Again, shame is NOT of God. We are forgiven, redeemed, and cleansed from any mistakes we have made; when we allow Jesus into our hearts. As we process through our days, pray for God to allow you healing. Jesus understands. Jesus suffered, carried all our sin and shame to the cross, and died for us. He is our comforter, our healer, our Savior. He knows what you need. He knows how to walk you through it, and He will carry you every step of the way. His arms are wrapped around you every second of every day. Release your heart and mind to Jesus and you will find peace, healing, love, and comfort in Him.

Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. PSALM 34:5
That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame.” ROMANS 10:9-11
God is with us.


© Layla Freeman 2017
Author of HOPE IN THE STRUGGLE and Layla’s Light 
All Rights Reserved 
P.O. Box 669 Claremore, OK 74018
Facebook – Layla’s Light
Twitter – @laylaslight

Layla’s Devotional Book available for purchase at the following: 

Hope in the Struggle – $9.95 

AMAZON – Hope In the Struggle –

Another Chapter Bookstore – 9455 N Owasso Expressway, Owasso, OK 74055

Cozy Cottage Store – 518 W Will Rogers Blvd, Claremore, OK 74017

She Brews Coffee Houses – Claremore, OK  (Downtown & within The Vessel)

Stonebrook Day Spa – 1875 N Old Hwy 66 A, Catoosa, OK 74015

Published by

Layla Freeman

Layla Freeman is a wife, mother, friend, and encourager to all. She is a passionate disciple of Jesus Christ. Layla is the C.E.O. and Founder of the Non-Profit outreach ministry called “Light of Hope”. This is an outreach to help individuals and families who are struggling with addiction and life difficulties. On Christmas Eve 2013, Layla lost her oldest daughter Ashley. Ashley was only 23 years old. There is no greater pain than child loss. Layla attributes her ability to face each day, to the overwhelming love of Jesus, who carries her through. This very difficult journey has given Layla the desire to help those who are facing difficult times and to help people see the hope. Her love for helping others is the passion behind Light of Hope. Light of Hope non-profit ministry has a vast variety of services that encourage, educate, empower and bring change and hope to the lives of those who need restoration and new life. Layla was awarded the Non-Profit “Leading Lady” award of Rogers County in 2018. She was also voted #1 community volunteer “Best of Claremore” in both 2019 & 2020. On June 9, 2020, Layla Freeman was Inducted into the Prestigious Marquis Who’s Who Biographical National Registry, as well as recognized as an “Amazing Oklahoman” in October 2020. Additionally, her non-profit Light of Hope was awarded the "Non-Profit of the Year" in both 2019 & 2020 and is also the winner of the International 2020 Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) Community Drug Prevention Award. Layla is also an author. Her first book publication, HOPE IN THE STRUGGLE, offers hope in the midst of dark times. Layla is also the author of the encouragement blog “Layla’s Light,” found on Facebook or on her website, She has been actively writing since 2001. Layla’s personal experience in the extreme difficulties of life gives her a deep understanding of brokenness. Therefore, Layla’s writing and passion behind her desire to help others is empowered by the truth of God’s unconditional love and forgiveness, and the hope we find in God’s promises. Layla is also a Business Owner/Vice President of Asset Industrial, Inc. She and her husband, Randall, work together providing services necessary for the oil refinery industry. She is also a respected Executive Committee Board Member, serving on the State Northeast Oklahoma Workforce Development Board. Layla is a public speaker and enjoys the opportunity to speak and present to groups, schools, churches, organizations, conferences, etc. She has a passion to bring awareness, education, and hope to our society. She believes that working together, and collaboration with others is the key to healthy families and stronger communities. In addition, Layla is a Stephen Minister, Congregational Care Minister, Lay Servant/Speaker, and a volunteer for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. (Layla has two daughters who face Type 1 Diabetes daily).

One thought on “Getting rid of the ‘Shame Box’.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s